Is First Name too Familiar? 0

Last night we had dinner with two other couples and a very interesting question came up.  One of the couples has just moved back to Atlanta from the northwest. This young family enrolled their 3 year old in a Mothers Morning Out program. The wife stated that here in the south, she was surprised that children could call their teacher by his/her first name, by simply putting Miss or Mr. in front – Miss Debbie, Mr. Mike. The couple asked my opinion and, as always, I was happy to share my thoughts.

When children are given permission to call their teacher Miss Debbie, that dilutes adult power by bringing a child’s first name and a teacher’s first name closer together. Deference has practically faded today between teachers and students. The fact that we allow teachers to be called Miss Anything greatly contributes to that decline. Many public schools in America are scary places to teach because of a lack of respect for authority.

I’d love to hear your opinion. What do you think about children calling teachers by their first names? Why do you think this came into practice? Your thoughts…

…always Make Mama Happy!

Posted on: 02-2-2010
Posted in: ASP Children's Training Graduates, Children, Parents

But We Call it ‘Finger’ Food … 0

‘Finger’ food?

As a ‘keeper’ of the etiquette rules, so many of the events that happen in our daily lives simply don’t allow us to comfortably ‘follow the rules’.

Recently, while attending a large convention, one of my associates stopped at a booth to check out a new product. At the booth, the company had trays of pick-up food (egg rolls, stuffed mushrooms, baby pizza etc.) for guests to help themselves. My associate took a napkin and picked up an egg roll. The caterer quickly sprang forth to tell her how rude she was for not using the serving tongs on the tray. In defense, my associate explained that she purposely didn’t use the tongs because so many people ahead of her had used them and she was sure they were covered in germs on the handle. She told the caterer that she selected an egg roll with her just-sanitized fingers, without touching another on the platter.

Etiquette dictates that utensils be used to pick up food from platters, but was she right or wrong?

I admit that at large receptions and all-you-can-eat food bars, the utensils probably are very ‘germy’. In my opinion, my associate had a valid response in whether or not to use those particular utensils at that particular time. We tell all our etiquette graduates that first you need to know the rules, then you make a judgment call on breaking that rule if need be.

And that Makes Momma Happy!

Posted on: 01-26-2010
Posted in: Blog, Travels

Saying Thank You Isn’t Hard to Do! 0

I wonder why people don’t write thank you notes. I continue to be amazed by the number of people who happily receive gifts from others and yet never take time to sit down and compose a simple 4-sentence note. Recently, when The Washington Post interviewed me, I laid out a simple formula for writing notes. Even the 3 year olds that we teach in etiquette class get it. The 1st, 2nd and 4th sentences are about the gift. The 3rd sentence is unrelated. A note might look something like this: Dear Janice, Thank you for my lovely Christmas sweater. How did you know that royal blue was my favorite color? I always look forward to our monthly lunches. Each time I wear my beautiful present, I will think of you. Warm regards, Jane.

It takes less than 4 minutes to compose and it brings so much pleasure to the person who gave you a gift.

…and that Makes Momma Happy!

Posted on: 01-20-2010
Posted in: Blog, In the News

A Food Court Delimma… 0

I am always fascinated with life’s little moments of what to do.

Earlier this week, I wrote about my associate attending a national convention. When she returned to Atlanta, she told me of another situation that caused her to pause. A group of colleagues decided to have lunch at the convention food court. There were hundreds of people trying to get lunch and finding a table was tricky. Once a table was secured, one person stayed to hold the table while others got in line to get their food. When the first person returned with his lunch, the table-holder left to get in line.

As there were so many people in line, the members of the group straggled back to the table one at a time. One person sat quietly and never touched his food. Two other people started eating immediately upon returning to the table. Two people were still in the line for food.

Should everyone have waited for all to return to the table or was it o.k. to start eating?

As the etiquette ‘keeper’, waiting for everyone to return is the rule, but there are times, due to circumstances, when the rules can be broken. The fact that two people ate quickly and returned to the convention floor was out of necessity. After all, this did take place in the food court and that usually means ‘lunch and run’.

The fact that one person waited for the other two before eating was great and showed good manners.

… and that Makes Momma Happy!

Posted on: 01-18-2010
Posted in: Blog, Children, Parents

Calling Shotgun! 0

Funny how sometimes you just notice something that you never thought of before. My husband and I have been married for many years.  If someone picked us up at the airport, I always got in the back seat and my husband always sat in the passenger front seat.  Now I wish I hadn’t done that so routinely and here’s why.

During the Christmas holidays I picked up my son and daughter-in-law at the airport. My DiL, without any discussion, opened that back door and got in.  Several days later, I went back to pick up my daughter and son-in-law.  After bags were loaded, my SiL said to my daughter, I’ll sit in the back seat, you sit up front with your Mom.”  It was very sweet and thoughtful.

…and that Makes Momma Happy!

Posted on: 01-18-2010
Posted in: Blog, Parents

Is It the Right Fit? 0

People come from all over the world to our etiquette certification training. The trainees and our staff always bond so quickly and establish a wonderful rapport with each other.

During the last day of one of our 5-day children’s training classes, a trainee from outside the US started offering my staff, one by one, jobs in her ‘new’ etiquette business. She stated that money was no object and that she would fly them in and out of the country whenever they wanted.

All staff members declined her ‘generous’ offer.

I get very nervous when someone chooses the wrong field in which to work.  We need to remember that in every situation our behavior is always on display. When we know better, we do better.

… and that Makes Momma Happy!

Posted on: 01-14-2010
Posted in: ASP Children's Training Graduates, Blog

Press 1 for ‘annoyed’ 0

My coffee maker is pretty ancient and I decided to buy a new one. On Thursday I started my search on the internet but couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I dialed Black and Decker about finding a particular model. During my 22 minute hold, I was informed by an automated voice that I was no 13 in line, then 8 and then 3. Finally, a recording came on and asked me to leave my name and # and someone would call me back! I waited 22 minutes to leave my name and number! It has been 3 days and I’m still waiting. Have you ever experienced such madness? It appears that my time holding on the telephone line is not important, and that the company has simply put this in place to save money. It’s not customer service, for sure.

On a more positive note regarding telephone prompters, Neiman Marcus is the only major department store in Atlanta that has someone live and breathing answering their phones. No prompters. I appreciate that very much and so they are always my first choice. That IS customer service, for sure.

…and that makes Momma happy!

Posted on: 01-13-2010
Posted in: Blog

Only Good Etiquette at this Firm. Do you think they know? 0

Over the weekend, my husband and I attended a very large and glamorous wedding. As we were approaching our table for dinner, I could see a woman moving the place cards around. She wanted to sit next to someone else at the table so she rearranged the seating.

When I sat down at the table, Mrs. Place Card Mover’s husband was on my right, my husband on my left and Mrs. Place Card Mover on my husband’s left. It is always common for Americans to ask ‘What do you do?’. I tried not to tell Mr. PCM that I was in the etiquette business, because sometimes people are intimidated, but he kept pressing about what kind of consultant I was so, I told him. He let me know that he was a partner at one of Atlanta’s largest law firms and they only hire people with great etiquette skills.

As we are talking, the waiter came around offering red or white wine. Mr. PCM picked up MY wine glass and said he would have red. A few minutes later, my husband quietly asked if he could put his bread on my plate. Mrs. PCM had used HIS bread plate.

Well, I went through the evening with no bread plate and no wine glass, but not to worry – ‘Mr. PCM’s firm only hires people with good etiquette’.

What would you have done? I didn’t ask for another bread plate or wine glass, as that would have embarrassed Mr. PCM’s Senior Partner.

Posted on: 01-7-2010
Posted in: ASP Corporate Training Graduates, Blog

Are You Driving Away Business? 0

I recently decided to purchase a new car. For some people, there is no attachment to whatever they are driving, but for me, my car is usually at least a 10 year love affair. Ten years ago, I purchased my car from a dealership, so I called them first to make an appointment with the same salesperson. I was told he had moved on but they could quickly connect me with a new sales associate.

When I arrived, I explained to my new SA that I would like the same model and color. What else could there be to decide? After driving 3 cars, and with my checkbook in my hand, I said, ‘This is it, I’ll have this one.’ The SA looked at me and said, ‘Now, will your husband (of whom there had been no mention) have to sign off on the car?’. This is the 21st century and 62% of the workforce is female – where have you been, fella? I looked him right in the eye and said, ‘Actually, I’m not sure I do like this color.’

I drove straight to another dealership on the same street, and I bought a car in less than 50 minutes. Even though I had never driven that make before, I fell in love immediately.  I won’t ever return to the first dealership, because my new love and I will be driving through fields of buttercups in slow motion for many years to come.

… and that Makes Momma Happy!

Posted on: 01-7-2010
Posted in: Blog

Did You Make Someone Happy Today? 0

Today, something very ‘rich’ happened. Before the holidays, I had decided that this year I would make homemade soup for all of our friends and neighbors. I cooked six or seven shoulder roasts to use as my soup base. Adding as many organic vegetables as possible to make the soup thick, my soup tasted wonderful!

I received a beautiful Thank You letter today from our next-door neighbor. Everybody’s life is so hectic and we almost never see these neighbors. In her letter, she set the scene of how busy the holidays had been with cooking, present shopping and choir duties. She then described how, after all the family members left after Christmas, she and her husband sat in front of the fire, feet propped up, eating the soup. She also mentioned that a serving tray that she used during the holidays was a gift from me 20 years ago.

For someone to take the time to say Thank You, as well as getting a tour down memory lane, made it a rich day for me.

Posted on: 01-6-2010
Posted in: Blog
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