Trouble on the table, can you help?

To: Faye Van Langen <etiquetteschoolofmb@gmail.com>Dear Mrs. Van Langen,I'm in desperate need of help. I had an etiquette problem at our table this morning.It seems that Mr. and Mrs. Pepper are having problems. It seems like Mr. Pepper is a wanderer. I caught Mr. Pepper with Miss Cinnamon and Sugar this morning and Mrs. Salt was way at the other end of the table. What should I do about this.Thanks for any advice you can give.COMMENTS:Dear Mrs. Wesley,Thank you for seeking advice on this critical issue of Mr. and Mrs. Pepper.Have you tried using Velcro?I think they need to be reminded that they are married and must stay together. I also think that you need to remind those around Mr. & Mrs. Pepper to encourage them to stay close by each other. Others will try very hard to separate them, but you must be very diligent in your efforts to keep this couple married. As for Miss Cinnamon and Sugar I would suggest that you find a very special place for her. Encourage others at the table to keep a close watch so that she remain in her own territory. She must not be allowed to intermingle with Mr. and Mrs. Pepper since Mr. Pepper has a wandering eye. This intermingling could cause Mr. Pepper to become discouraged with the plainness of Ms. Salt, which would cause Mr. Pepper to wander more often. Miss Cinnamon and Sugar have such class in their color that it is difficult to keep ones eyes off such beauty. Perhaps Ms. Salt has lost her savor and that is the reason Mr. Pepper has been wandering. Check it out and refresh her flavor if needed. Also, remind Mr. Pepper to flee youthful lusts and enjoy the wife of his youth!I do hope that these suggestions will help in keeping Mr. and Mrs. Pepper married. If you need any further advice, please contact me.Sincerely,Mrs. Van LangenThe Etiquette School of Monterey BayA Graduate of: The American School of Protocol

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